Monday, December 8, 2008

The Ride of Transition.

I have heard many times that taking Testosterone and transitioning is one helluva ride. I would definitely have to agree with that. It is definitely a "ride". Yesterday, on Sunday, I took a trip in my car to do a little bit of food shopping. On the way there I felt really different. I am starting to feel like the man that I am. All of a sudden i feel very energized, confident, strong and sexual, very sexual. They say that taking T makes you very horny. Well it makes sense because all it is doing is making my brain male and less female I definitely feel less emotional. Things that have been really hurting me are still there, but there is not as much emotion attached to it. Which is a really good thing. I definitely feel more balanced and stronger-mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually.

They also say that some guys that take T become aggressive and angry-well I can feel why those guys that have not been working on their issues would have this problem. There is an intensity that is hard to describe, but I am sure it is how bio guys feel most of the time. I have worked on my anger issues for a long time. As a matter of fact, I conquered that demon years ago. As a matter of fact I have not gotten angry in a long time and I have never, ever been violent at all. As a matter of fact I deplore all kinds of violence. Gandhi is one of my heroes. So because I have worked on these issues and because I am all ready starting off with non functioning female organs and hormones, that side effect will and should not effect me. The Testosterone doesn't have to fight with my estrogen since my estrogen is almost non-existent. Therefore making my transition a lot easier.

For those that think that my body will not become male, you need to look into the science of it. Scientists in testing their theory that injecting hormones can change your sex took a bunch of chickens and gave them injections of Testosterone over a long period. Every single one of them turned into a rooster. Everything became male in their body, mind and tiny brain. The only thing about the chickens that was still female was their inner organs, which stopped working but were still there. If you look at pictures of the many, many handsome FTM's (Female to Male) out there, you could never, ever tell that they were at one time female. The difference is astounding! I happen to believe that a Transguy is a better lover, friend and mate than a bio guy. Mostly because of the fact that transguys will always be tapped into their feminine side and have complete understanding with their female partners. Biological Males cannot have that deep understanding with females that transguys have. I happen to believe that FTM's are truly the best of both worlds. I know how to hit the G Spot, I know about the ridges of love just beneath the G Spot and I know how to make a clitoris dance with slow rolling orgasms all night. Bi-sexual women should be all about being with a transguy. Plus with our dicks you cannot get pregnant. If people saw how amazing it is to see a clitoris turn into a dick, they would understand why being an FTM is so awesome! There are pictures posted across the web, but mostly for other FTM's benefit and learning, but if anyone out there wants to see what a clitoris on T looks like, feel free to hit me up and I will send you some pictures.

Since I am starting off with a HUGE clit, my growth should be much like this picture, of course all guys are different.

I finally feel something close to complete. I wish i could of realized that I had this hormonal imbalance earlier. Things would have been better for me. I know that now I will be able to sexually express myself and move about in the world a more perfect, whole and complete person. I haven't felt this good since i was on heroin almost 10 years ago and this ride has just begun for me. One of the reasons I was doing heroin was the pain I was in over not being able to function as a sexual and loving human being. I now know the real reason why I had to move to Seattle. It was something I had always wanted to do and it had nothing to do with the music or scene here-nothing at all. As a matter of fact I could not even explain why I always had this feeling to move here, but now I know. Seattle is very progressive when it comes to transgendered care. There is a huge FTM scene here in Seattle and the Northwest. I never felt like I fit into the lesbian and gay scene, but I do feel a part of the FTM scene.

It is going to take a little while until my transition is complete, but within a year or so I should look and feel completely different. I now have something to look forward to. By the time I am 40, my transition will be complete. I am 36 now.

Transitioning is definitely a ride. I am stoked about my future for the first time in a long time. I only wish that I could of done this sooner. Everyday is a new day. It is amazing to be able to reincarnate within the same lifetime. Now I am able to wake up and face the day with more joy because everyday is another day closer to the completion of my transition.


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