Hmmm.

So it seems like any difference I felt within the first few days of taking my shot have slowed down a bit. I guess its true that the changes will not happen over night. I can understand my impatience with the situation though because it has been since I was about 7 that I craved to be a boy. Time flies by fast. The past 4 years I have been in Seattle have just flown by, which means that the next four years will fly by also, but I am so afraid that within these next 4 years that I am going to be alone. I cannot really handle being alone for much longer.

I have not been in a relationship since July of 2005. Even that relationship only lasted about 3 months, if that. The last time I had sex with a woman was in July of 2005. Before that my only other relationship I was ever in lasted from 1999-2002. From 2002-2005 I did not have sex with a woman. I seem to go periods of 3 years without sex. It is really painful. I need to be with someone. I need to feel like a whole and complete person. Sex for me is something I cannot just do without feeling some kind of connection with the person. I wish I could just go to the lesbian bar, pick up a chic and get laid, but I cannot do that. Maybe the Testosterone will help me with this, but not overnight. Although I wish I could just wave a magic wand over my head to fix my finickiness but there is not any magic wand on the planet, except for one and she doesn't want to use it on me.

Hmmm.